


The First Step to Freedom

by StarryEyedArmitage



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A little, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Body Image, Body Worship, Boys Kissing, Chubby Poe Dameron, Cute, Fluff, Gay Poe Dameron, I Made Myself Cry, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Kes is a good dad, M/M, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Self Confidence Issues, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, a little bit of, but I needed to VENT SO SHEH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 09:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17805866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryEyedArmitage/pseuds/StarryEyedArmitage
Summary: Absolute fluff with my two gay space boys placed on earth. This is a high school AU in which Finn has to show a self conscious Poe that he's beautiful and worthy of the love Finn gives him.





	1. An Unfortunate Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this sort of as a vent/confession. I'm self conscious so this was a way to get out how I often feel. Canonly I absolutely believe that Poe would flaunt his every curve, he really doesn't seem like the shy type with his body or anything else. But enjoy this! Maybe it'll help someone else too.

Finn looked at himself in the mirror and straightened his blazer. He took a deep breath, that was it. His first real, serious date with someone he loved so much. Poe Dameron. Finn scored a jackpot when he talked to Poe in the library that afternoon. Finn smiled widely at the memory and continued to get ready. There wasn’t much to get ready. Shower, clothes, make sure he had the flowers and they looked perfect. Finn glanced at himself in the full-length mirror and nodded, satisfied with how he looked. Finn grabbed the bouquet of flowers and hopped into his parent’s car. He’d just got his license and technically he wasn’t supposed to drive without an adult yet but shh. Don’t tell anyone. One night should be okay.

-

Poe groaned and shook his head. Finding something to wear was not an easy task. He’d never had this much difficulty picking what to wear. Feeling confident? Pull off a t-shirt. Feeling gross? His vast sweater collection could fix that. But now Poe didn’t feel very good about himself and he couldn’t wear a fucking worn out sweatshirt to his first date. He needed to find a nice shirt. He couldn’t let Finn down. Poe pulled out some old clothes and frowned at them. Would they still… fit? The question made him shiver and he threw them away to the other side of the room. He groaned again and lay back on his bed, hands over his face. His mother knocked at the door, the sound startling him.

“Poe? Honey? Finn will be here soon. Are you ready?” She asked, not coming in. Luckily. Poe was lying on his bed in only his underwear, his whole closet around him. 

“Y-yeah!” He lied and jumped off of his bed, going to stand at the door so that there was absolutely no possibility she could come in. “I’ll be out soon…” Poe heard her leave and he took a breath. He eventually threw on some jeans and a fancy sweater, the one his aunt got him for his birthday a couple months before. He had been unhappy with the present at the time but now he was very grateful for it. He’d make sure to send her a thank you letter.

Going downstairs, Poe hugged his mom before sitting on the couch nervously. He felt silly, being so scared but he couldn’t help it. Finn was perfect and he… well, he wasn’t anything special. He never really let Finn know how he felt about himself because it’s so fun whenever they’re together. He doesn’t want to ruin the fun with his bullshit. So he doesn’t. The soft knock on the door sends a jolt to his heart. Shara, Poe’s mum, smiled and waved at him as he walked to get the door.

Poe was grateful for his mother. She was always there for him and supported him when he came out as gay. He felt so loved by her, and that was so important. His dad, kes, left when he was twelve. For no reason at all. Him and mum’s relationship had seemed okay until one day he’d packed his bags and left. Never to be seen again. Except for the child support money he had to pay. Poe would be lying if he didn’t still cry about it at night. It hurt his heart. He loved his dad more than anyone and then he was just gone. He didn’t find it fair and now resented kes for it.

Poe walked up to the door and took a breath. He could see Finn’s smile blurred out by the frosted glass of the window in his door. He opened it and the moment Finn could see him his arms were around Poe, hugging him tightly. Poe nearly forgot about why he was worried and hugged Finn back. 

“Missed you!” Finn chirped.

“It’s been… two hours since school ended,” Poe blushed. “But I missed you too!” They kissed each other’s lips gently, eyes fluttering shut and not opening until the kisses were done. 

“Thank you for letting me take out your son, miss Dameron!”

“No worries, you two lovebirds go out and have fun. I want Poe back by midnight though.” She teased. “No… come back whatever time you like. As long as you’re not drunk or high it’s fine.” She said and waved the kids off. Poe and Finn went hand in hand to Finn’s car. It wasn’t a very nice or new one. 2001 Toyota Corolla, red, a little rusty. But it was Finn’s and he adored it.

-

“Your mother is so nice. My mom told me to be back by eleven so, I’ll probably drop you back home at around ten forty. Sorry to cut the night short.” Finn said guiltily but Poe shook his head, smiling and putting a hand over Finn’s. They currently sat at a booth in the back of the restaurant. The place was  _ packed _ like Poe had never seen. There was a constant buzz of chatter and silverware clattering. It felt like Finn and Poe were in their own little bubble of privacy. 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind, my mother may seem nice but she would be pissed if I came back into the house at three in the morning.” Poe chuckled and nodded thanks to the waitress who handed them their menus. Poe bit his lip. He and Finn ate with each other every day, but this was different. This was serious. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Finn. He didn’t want to order that huge plate of Mac and cheese that was looking oh so appetizing. Poe was deathly self-conscious, he couldn’t just act like he was home and no one was watching. After a war with himself, Poe chose a salad. That’s right a fucking salad. Poe hated salad but if it would make him look like a  _ SKINNY QUEEN  _ then he’d go for it. 

The waitress came back and he ordered the salad. Finn ordered  _ steak _ . Damn it. Poe was about to say something but the puzzled look on Finn’s face stopped him. “What?” Poe asked softly, giving Finn a look of his own. 

“You hate salad.”

“Y-yeah well no- I mean… uh.” Poe put a hand on the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. What to say? He was all mixed up, cursing himself for saying he hated salad before. He bit his lip and shrugged, not wanting to ruin the date. “I felt like salad.” He mumbled, knowing Finn wouldn’t fully buy it. But Finn stopped asking. Poe was grateful. He still ordered a soda, despite himself. Nothing was keeping him from his sweet drinks. 

When would the food come? God, he was hungry. They sat relatively close to the kitchens so the waiters and waitresses ran out every minute with a new dish. All the smells hit Poe with increasing intensity. Fish, turkey, pizza, soups, stews, fries and more came past him. Conversation with Finn seemed to help though. He’d get lost in the beautiful boy’s voice and everything seemed to go away.

“I think puppies are better than cats. Like your dog BeeBee. He’s my absolute favorite. He’s small but he’s got lots of energy. You should let me walk him more, he loves me.”

“Not as much as he loves me! He’s my dog after all.”

“Feel threatened Dameron?” 

“Maybe!” Poe laughed, “BeeBee is gonna escape to your house one day-“ the plates were set in front of them and Poe stopped talking, he looked down at his salad after he thanked the waitress. His eyes flashed to Finn’s steak. Oh, why didn’t he get something better? Poe’s stomach groaned in hunger and he cringed, glad it was loud enough in the restaurant that Finn couldn’t hear, or if he had, he said nothing.

Poe did his best to dig into the salad but it just wasn’t working for him. He groaned softly as he poked at the pile of leafy greens in his plate. They looked so sad, sitting there with no dressing because god forbid Poe try and make it tasty. He sighed again and shook his head. He felt the concerned looks he got from Finn. He looked up and began to speak but Finn smiled and put a hand over Poe’s.

“Want some of my steak?” He asked, cutting a piece of tender meat and pushing it towards the edge of his plate closest to Poe. Poe bit his lip and shook his head, declining. “Aw come on Poe. You’ve been eyeing my steak like it’s gonna grow legs and run away. You ordered a salad. Come on just try it. It’s really good.” Finn’s argument was good and Poe found himself almost reaching for the food but he shook his head. He stood up fast. 

“I’m going to the bathroom. Excuse me.” He said and walked away with his head down. Finn sat there puzzled. He had no idea what was going on with Poe. Everything started right… what happened? Finn looked to Poe’s half-finished salad and sighed. Poe was never like this. What made tonight different from other days? They ate together every lunch. Poe was always happily munching on his lunch. Not like today, he ordered a salad. Finn frowned and stood, smoothing out his blazer, setting off on a mission. Find out what the hell was wrong with Poe.

-

In the bathroom Poe put his head in his hands, frowning and shaking his head. He was trying to calm down. Why was he so embarrassed? Finn would never ridicule Poe for his weight. But Poe couldn’t help but feel like that made him less. Who wanted to date the fat kid? Finn deserved better. Better than Poe. He sighed and walked to the mirror, looking at himself until he couldn’t anymore. He looked down at the sink. It was pretty impressive that, as busy as the restaurant was, the bathroom was almost empty, one man was drying his hands. The noise of the loud drier unsettled Poe.

Finn crept into the bathroom and Poe didn’t notice thanks to the loud hand dryer. Poe had his eyes closed, hands gripping the single sink unit a little too hard, knuckles white. Finn frowned and walked up behind Poe, tapping his shoulder before bringing him into a hug. Poe hardly even noticed what happened but he opened his eyes and noticed it was Finn. He smiled a little and hugged Finn back, letting himself be pushed towards the clear tiled wall. 

Their lips met and Poe moaned softly, his hands traveling up and down Finn’s back in appreciation and love. The tile was cold against his back but it felt so good in contrast to his burning skin, needing to be touched by Finn. Finn’s lips were like pillows on his own and he loved it. The man who had been drying his hands stopped to watch for a moment before Finn saw and flipped him off. The man quickly left after that and they were completely alone.

Not being able to go any farther, Finn only pushed Poe harder onto the wall. Finn was a little taller so Poe was pinned. One of Poe’s legs went up to caress Finn’s leg and hook around it, to stable himself as he felt Finn lifting him up a little. Poe was up a couple inches, being  _ carried _ by Finn.  They heard the bathroom door open and didn’t stop. The door creaked closed again and no sound was heard. The man left. Finn brought his hands up to Poe’s soft curls and tugged on them a little, making Poe moan again. And oh was it a beautiful moan. Finn nearly moaned himself. He opened his eyes, Poe’s were closed, those beautiful, long eyelashes touching his cheeks. A pink flush on his tan skin. 

Finn continued the kiss and brought a hand to Poe’s waist. The kiss ended abruptly. Poe had slipped out from his grasp, hopping a couple steps to get balance and shaking his head slowly, blushing red. He put a hand on the back of his neck and stood there awkwardly. Finn frowned and looked questioningly to his boyfriend. “Poe. What’s wrong? You’ve got to tell me. I don’t want you to feel bad.  _ Please _ tell me.” 

Poe shook his head, biting his lip. “I’m sorry I just can’t.” He mumbled, feeling guilty. He didn’t want to ruin the night. Finn took the couple steps forward to bridge the gap between him and Poe, his lips on his lover’s again. Finn kissed up Poe’s clean-shaven jaw and nipped at his ear, putting a hand behind his neck and pulling him close.

“I want you to know that whatever it is you’re mad at yourself for, you don’t need to be. I love you.” Poe gasped, pulling back and looking at Finn with a nearly shocked expression. The boy had never imagined… Finn… loved him? They’d never actually said those words to each other. It was as though he was in a trance. Trapped. Poe was just stunned. Finn’s face contorted into something worried when Poe seemed to be stuck in time.

“I love you too-“ Poe finally said and hugged Finn tighter than he’d ever hugged anyone. Poe’s heart was full of love and he wished he could show every ounce of it to Finn. Whatever did Poe do to deserve a boyfriend as wonderful as him? He still didn’t tell Finn his insecurities, he couldn’t find it in himself no matter how loved he felt in the moment. 

“Then we’ll go back out there and you’ll eat some of my cold steak right?” A cheeky smile spread across Finn’s face as he spoke in a light, joking matter. Poe accepted. How could he not? Finn was rather persuasive. Poe nodded, still hugging Finn with all his strength. The boy in his arms probably found crushed. 

Finn didn’t, in fact, feel crushed, he felt the perfect amount of squeezed and loved, Poe was so soft and warm. Finn never wanted to leave his arms. But they had to. They still had a date to continue. Poe slowly detached from Finn and they walked out of the bathroom, hand in hand. Happy. Satisfied. Poe ate the steak and looked like he was in heaven, blissed-out as he should be on a date. 


	2. Drive

Speeding down the highway in the dark was fun in Finn’s car. Poe stuck his head out the window, arm flying out with him as if there was something to hug out there. He laughed, letting out a whoop. He felt free with the wind rushing through his curls. He wished they could drive forever. No one else was on the highway, it was the old one that took the scenic route. The new highway could be seen from there, lights that never turned off, stark against the harsh darkness of the night. It was when they started going uphill that Poe sat back in his seat, giggling like the schoolboy he was. They were probably going thirty kilometers over the speed limit but there was no one around. Why keep watching a highway no one used?

Finn’s speeding came to a stop at the top of a hill. It wasn’t a mountain, far from it, but it overlooked the new highway. It was a place where Finn and Poe felt secluded, safe and private. They were away from the chaos of the main highway and the chaos of home life, forgetting their oppressive homework and school deadlines for one night. Together.

“It’s… beautiful really. The way everyone is doing something, everyone has a goal and they want to achieve. Well not anyone… but you get what I mean.” Finn said.

“If I didn’t know you I would think you’re stoned, damn Finn, existential much?” Poe teased, kissing Finn’s lips. They were in the same car seat, Poe’s passenger seat. The seat was reclined and they were basically laying there. Finn sat on Poe’s lap and leaned on his chest, hand in his curls, playing with them. Finn chuckled.

“Whatever, make fun of my thoughts. How are you doing now? Better than in the restaurant I hope.” Finn thought he’d finally pieced together what was wrong with Poe. If he was wrong he’d feel bad but at least he’d know that wasn’t it. He’d never really seen Poe shirtless. The only time was the beach nearly two years before. Other than that Poe never took his shirt off. Finn wanted to change that, wanted to see his beautiful body. He smiled softly and then the hand in Poe’s hair moved to the hem of his sweater, pulling it a little. Poe seemed to panic when he felt it, he looked there and put a hand over his boyfriend’s to try and stop him. Finn nailed it. Poe’s insecure. Finn had to change that.

“What are you doing?” Poe asked softly, pink blush on his cheeks.

“I want to… kiss your body. You’re beautiful.” That made Poe blush even more but he seemed unsure. Of course, Finn wouldn’t do anything if Poe didn’t want it. But he really wanted to help.

“I, well I- I'm not sure Finn…” Poe basically squirmed in his spot. Finn leaned up and kissed his neck, trying to be reassuring.

“Come on Poe. I love you, I want to see you. Admire you. You’re perfect.” Finn put his other hand over top of Poe’s, grabbing it gently. Poe let it go easily and Finn began to pull his shirt up, feeling more excited with every inch of tan skin he revealed. Once he got the shirt over Poe’s head he could see the shame his lover felt. He needed to change that fast. “Don’t look so scared, it’s me.” Finn’s lips jumped to Poe’s and then went down his neck, then to his chest. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” Finn muttered before he pressed his tongue to Poe’s chest, licking over his nipples, making Poe whimper. Sensitive… his nipples were sensitive. Finn bookmarked that mentally.

Finn’s hands moved to Poe’s soft hips and he began to grind on his thigh. Truth be told Finn had gotten a little hard just from the small exchange. Poe whimpered more, not telling Finn to stop, in fact, it seemed like he wanted him to keep going. Finn let his hands press back into the seat on either side of Poe and he stopped grinding, letting his head fall down and continue kissing Poe’s body. When he got to his lover’s tummy Poe spoke up.

“Could you- skip this?” He asked, nervous.

“Why?” Finn stopped for the moment but didn’t intend on stopping forever. Poe needed to be kissed. The time was ticking, the hour they had to drive back approaching faster than he’d like. Poe scoffed and shook his head.

“Because, Finn, I don’t like attention there. It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not embarrassing…” Despite Poe’s protests, Finn kissed down his soft belly, admiring it all before nipping at the hair on his navel that ran down towards his pants. The bottom half of Poe would be for another day. A day with roses on the bed and a blindfold used in a pure way. Finn had many plans. For now, he just had to get Poe out of the shell he put himself in. “Don’t be insecure, you’re beautiful and this-“ he kissed Poe’s tummy again and then got on top of him, hands on Poe’s shoulders, smirking softly. He leaned down and kissed Poe’s lips, moving to nip at his ear. “- is nothing to worry about. I love your tummy. You’re beautiful and I wouldn’t want anything else.”

That made Poe feel better. It really did. He hugged Finn close like if he didn’t the boy would run away. He ran his hands over Finn’s short hair. “You didn’t have to do that…”

“Yes I did, I love you. Of course I want to make you feel good. Be confident Poe. You’re perfect.” Poe had heard that so many times that night that he nearly believed it. He felt good and absolutely adored… he needed Finn to feel the same… some time he’d worship Finn just as the boy had for him.

“I love you, Finn… this has been the best date I’ve ever had.” Poe blushed and they kissed again, long and slow, passionate. Finn’s hands roaming Poe’s body and pushing through his hair. Quiet moans filtered through the otherwise silent car, Poe being the more vocal one.

A bright light suddenly shone on them. Finn and Poe were startled and jumped. Poe shoved his shirt on, eyes wide as they looked at the light. It passed. Turned out it was just a police officer patrolling. A few moments and the two boys were alone in the dark again. Finn was the first one to laugh at the situation, he wondered what the officer thought, probably not much. Two boys making out in a car on a hill? Nothing suspicious really. A couple moments later Poe laughed too, pushing at Finn’s chest and then kissing him once more before checking the time.

“Let’s go home…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comment and Kudos if you like it and want more! You can give ideas in the comments too. That would be nice!


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